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Office Linebacker

What is Office Linebacker?

A disciplinary role within a corporate office created as a deterrent for employees to break office policy. Office linebackers roam and monitor the office, dishing out punishing tackles and intimidating shouting when employees violate policy including the breaking of the sacred "kill the joe, make some mo'" rule, employees on extended breaks, and recycling violatons. However, the role isn't all disciplinary as Office Linebackers also are responsible for boosting office morale, boosting the bottom line and being a team player.

Sporting Charts explains Office Linebacker

The Office Linebacker position was first created by Felcher & Sons in an effort to break their paradigm and increase productivity. The first ever Office Linebacker was Terry Tate, a former football linebacker. Ever since Flecher & Sons hired an Office Linebacker, it has been rumored that most Fortune 500 companies have added an Office Linebacker to ensure that TPS reports are finally being filed properly. 

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